Fine, Whatever

OK, so the check really wasn't from the Microsoft thing--I know, I wanted it to be real, too.  The actual story is much less interesting.  I posted a book on KSL--the interested party right off the bat appeared to be full of it (it meaning crap).  However, I had been burned before when an accused scammer turned out to be an offended old man so...  We agreed that I would not send the book until the check had cleared the bank (remember this point).  "Anita" took forever to send the check but, finally, I came home to work to find a FedEx overnight:

A couple interesting points: the shipping is billed to a third party and, apparently, I work for Centex...  I opened it to find this (likely a familiar image) check:

Shortly thereafter, the boring part: you keep the money for the book and wire me the difference by Western Union--I've tried to string them along so I could send the "money" to a physical address.  I had great visions of a truly disgusting package full of all sorts of bodily-based items but...no dice.  The real question is why did they even attempt this garbage when I clearly indicated nothing was going down until the check cleared with the bank?  I include here a copy of one of the e-mails with my editorial comments for your pleasure:

From: anita adams  come on, that's the crappiest e-mail address I've ever seen
To: Bryan Buchanan
Sent: Fri, November 5, 2010 2:06:39 AM
Subject: WESTERN UNION dit da dit da dit, dit da dit da dit... (great song--love me some Five Americans--hit #5 on the charts)
Thanks for the email..I am so glad you got the check after so much anticipation.... wow, the anticipation of the fake check really had me up in the night, man--the night sweats were getting old
Please i need the book and DJ urgently... really, you need the dust jacket that bad?
Yes the large amount was a mistake ,Am sorry about that... no worries, I frequently overwrite checks for $3300!  I sent one to Jeff Tidwell in Philly the other day for $7.5 mil and I've never even heard of him!
Please you can kindly deduct the money for the book and send the balance via western union to the courier service that will come over to pick it up from you after the balance has been received by him.. so, I wire the money AND you pick it up?  pick your scam, jerkhole!
Please send the balance to the following information below by today so the book can be picked up by Saturday morning...  is it cool if I send the balance to the following person rather than this Platonic ideal of "information"?  upon advice from my legal counsel, I am not sending money to abstract concepts any more

Name..John Oni
Country...Nigeria WHAT!!??!?  Did NOT see that one coming...
State..Abuja
City..Abuja
zip code.234

Kindly wrap the book in a white paper to keep it safe and clean  no dice, Mr. Picky--it's brown butcher paper or bust
When you have sent the balance please email me so i can tell the courier service to go pick the money up and come pick the book up..  son, we've covered this before--I can: A. wire the money or B. you can pick it up but you can't: C. pick your friend's nose no matter how tempting and green his/her boogers may be...
Thanks
ANITA we're friendly now, no need for last names--I love that the check was signed by "G Grayling" and I'm sending the money to John Oni--it's like a menage-a-trois scam supervised by Satan himself...